MNXMFan's Blog

So, after being so busy this past week, I’ve been taking some me time.  I’ve been of course looking for a job, and trying to get some normalcy to my sleeping schedule.  Its a tough job market out there, but I should be fine either way.

Last Tuesday, I was supposed to go to mini golf, but I wasn’t feeling the greatest, so I had to cancel that at the last minute.  Last Thursday, the entire family went out for steaks to celebrate my sister graduating high school.  Last Friday I hung out with a friend of mine, and last Saturday me, my brother, sister, brothers girlfriend, and a friend of mine sat around and got drunk and watched movies.

So as you can see, it was rather busy, and I have been keeping a low profile since then.  I have been trying to figure out a problem that happened as a result of this upgrade to the blog.  I have also been working on adding new music to the playlist for my radio project.

Tonight, my brother and sister and I are going to see the new Simpsons movie, and tomorrow I am seeing it again with a friend.

Oh yeah, and we got another new cat, absolute sweetheart.  That makes two kittens, both around 6 months old (same litter) that we have in our lives.  What a joy!  I go back to school in less than a month now too, so life is gonna get crazy here shortly.

More than once in the past two weeks since you started all this, I have caught you driving past my house.  That constitutes stalking, not sure you knew that or not.  I know your reading this blog almost daily, I mean I am an IT professional its not hard to figure out.

I don’t get you.  You say awful things about me, treat me as cold as is possible to treat another human being, and then say it had nothing to do with your personality disorder.  Yet in the past two weeks, I have made no effort to contact you, haven’t even been near the park that you live in, and have no intention to do either.

You treated me like a criminal, just like last time.  And guess what?  I’ll NEVER be able to forgive you for that.  Your the only person to ever sink that low with me, and you have done it twice.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  I really thought you were getting better, but according to you, none of this has anything to do with the BPD.  Well, in the past two weeks, I have actually gone out, met new people, and reconnected with old ones.  Am I sad that this happened?  Sure.

Just know this, if your objective is to harm my things or me, that just as the police I’m sure told you, you will be the first person they come hunting for.  It’s over, let it go.  You got something you want to say to me?  Call me, email me, or hell even leave me a comment, but please stop driving past my house.  The next time it happens, I will be sure to take the appropriate legal actions, because at this point (and my family has noticed this as well) it is frightening my family. 

After the way you treated me, you are not welcome over here, and nobody here wants to speak to you.  And yes, I realize that I took some shots to.  Hurts doesn’t it?  I somewhat regret stooping to your level, but your coldness towards me from the start was a shocker, especially after you claim it has NOTHING to do with your BPD (and yes, I did check with support groups, but thanks for saying I didn’t, guess you know how I should have handled this, huh?)

Like I said, sure I’m sad that it came to this.  I do miss parts of our friendship, and I do miss you in general.  But I cannot continue living this way, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  And I am SURE that I’m not the only one.  Hopefully someday you will get the help you need to be able to step outside your own shoes to actually see how you treated me, and how you treat others, dramatically affects how they react and dramatically affects their desire to be around.

In the past two months, you did almost nothing for me.  It was all about you.  The one time I ask for two minor reciprications, I get shit upon, and called dependent.  Sorry, I thought since I spent over 200 hours of my summer vacation helping you paint and fix up your house that maybe, just maybe I could expect a few minor things in return.  Guess you were just using me the whole time.

Stop driving past my house, I don’t need it, and I certainly wouldn’t do the same to you.  That would be stalking, and that would be illegal.  We are on a private road, and you have no reason to be on this road.  You got something to say, say it, but you drive past my house again, and I will be sure it is documented.  Poor you, right?  Your so afraid that I am going to destroy your house, yeah right pull your head out of your ass.  I am doing nothing, and thats the way it will continue.  Not only is it not worth the time, but I am not that kind of person. 

Yet another new feature, podcasting.  This isn’t a podcast, but its still good, because I made it.

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Hey everyone, I just wanted to let you know about a new feature called “Sphere It” that I have added to this blog.  This feature will allow you to click on a link at the bottom of the post you are reading to get more content just like that.  In personal rants, it might not be that effective, but when I am talking about a product or politics, you can get more information that way.

Also, if the post talks about news, you should be able to get links to more information about the news.  Just another way to make getting information beter on you!

Upgrade problems seem to have taken me offline for a while earlier today.  Just wanted to let everyone know that its my own doing, I’ll have a full upgrade report when I’m done!

So, I went to go see my therapist today, and I just gotta say that she is the best therapist I have dealt with thus far.  She truely understands what is going on, and made me feel great about where I am going with life. 

Not all therapists are bad, and she thinks I have done nothing wrong in the past three months.  And she is supportive in this new group of peope that I am hanging out with.

So today I went downtown with a friend to Brit’s pub.  They were having a “Shakesbeer” in the park type of thing, which was very fun and funny at the same time.  The ambiance of that place is awesome, I might have to make it a new hangout!

But, alas, after that, I am glad to be home.  After last night I didn’t get much sleep because this thing was at 2PM and I didn’t get home until after 4AM last night.  I’m tired, and glad to be able to relax.

So, it is 4AM and I have just returned from what could possibly be described as the best night I have had in YEARS.  I went by myself to this game night thing that a group of local people was putting on.  There were perhaps 30 people there, at this place in Richfield.

So, I showed up around 7PM, and at first it felt like I was out of place.  I could not have been more wrong if I tried.  Right off the bat we started by playing Master and Commander, and I was pretty quiet, but enjoying myself.  After that, we started playing Apples to Apples with an even bigger group.  That was a blast, I was really starting to feel like I fit in. 

But then we all headed downstairs (it was cooler down there) and we played Lovers and Liars for about an hour or more.  Now we were all having fun!  They without question had accepted me as a new member of the group.  Then, I went outside where they were having a bonfire, sat around and talked about how I had found the group and whatnot.  So then, I went back inside and they were deep into a game of CatchPhrase (now THATS a fun game!).  I played fill in whenever someone had to leave.  And this was after I had decided that maybe I really didn’t fit in, and was getting ready to leave.  I’m glad I didn’t. 

Then it was back outside for a smoke and some more bonfire goodness.  But here’s where I really started to feel like a member of the group.  We then went back inside, cooked up a bunch of frozen pizzas, and played a few rounds of a game I haven’t played in well over 10 years, Skip Bo.  That was a blast.   We talked politics, and passed a few dirty jokes and references.

Then, it was another much more laxed game of CatchPhrase, where everyone was playing and nobody was keeping score.  After about another hour of that, I decided that it was getting late, so I bid a fond farewell, and made my way home.

Brian, Sheri, Connie, Scott, Jodi, and all the rest of you, thank you for such a wonderful night.  They are a great group of people, and I truely do look forward to doing more of these types of events.  Can’t wait until the hot tub party!

And for the first night since this whole thing between me and Sara started almost two weeks ago, I didn’t think about her once.  No anger, no sadness, not even a passing thought.  I just let loose and laughed and had a great time!